I have tried (not always successfully) to live by the Golden Rule “do unto
others as you would have them do unto you”.
Well lately I have become aware of a different adage “people teach you
how to treat them”. I’m having trouble
reconciling these two sayings. I want to
believe if I treat people decently, with kindness and dignity, they will do
likewise. However, if you keep treating
someone as you want to be treated, and you rarely get similar treatment in
return, is it time for a re-evaluation?
Isn’t the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over
expecting different results? “People
teach you how to treat them” seems almost punitive to me, but maybe it’s more
realistic for the world we live in. I
think starting with “do unto others” is still right. However, if someone consistently treats you
with only their self-interest at heart, maybe it’s time to learn and adjust
your behavior accordingly and think about the fact that “people teach you how
to treat them”.
I can't believe how timely this is...last night there was a nasty situation on Facebook that unfolded and the person that provoked us really needs to take a look at himself. He basically snarked all over someone's post with his vegan beliefs, then acted the wounded victim "why are you all baiting me?' when we told him to step off. Even his apologies are passive aggressive.
ReplyDeleteWhen one thinks about it, when someone repeatedly treats you like crap even when you treat them well, they are teaching you to treat them like crap. It is kind of a round and round thing. If I receive nothing but a negative vibe and continue to treat them nice, I might as well put a bull's-eye on my chest so they taught me that they are a negative person not worth my cheery self so I ignore them...that is the worst for them. They hate to be ignored, they want one to retaliate and I refuse-hahahahaaa
ReplyDeletehmmmm indeed. While I do try very hard to live by the 'do unto others' belief, I am also at a point in my life where I don't want to waste time with people I don't enjoy being around. Bad behavior just falls off my radar and I move on. Somewhat liberating for me, and I believe people like that feed off the negativity they are getting in return. so I chose not to feed that engine
ReplyDeleteI sound like a broken record when I write to you, but your timing is always spot on. I have been living this for 10 years with a particular person. As always, I started with "Do Unto" for about 9 3/4 years, shifted recently to "teach-treat" and Friday it all came to a head. Sometimes people don't deserve your time. They should be given a chance to prove themselves worthy of it, but if they aren't, they need to be cut off or weaned off...whatever the situation warrants. Relationships, whether friend/partner/sibling/parent/child/coworker, are exhausting at times. But how exhausted should we make ourselves?
ReplyDeleteDon't cast your pearls before swine....bead with them!
ReplyDeleteGood point!
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